She was more than aware of the war, and in fact, was more aware than her father realized just how embroiled her family was. Her brothers Geoffrey and Jacob were three and five years older than her, and she knew they followed in her father's footsteps. She was aware when both boys took the Dark Mark and intended to follow Voldemort. And she was terrified for them. It was something she shared only with her mother, that fear, as she grew close to her mother during the summer before her sixth year. And when Pansy left for school for her sixth year, she knew that her brothers and father sided with Voldemort, and her vulnerable mother was about to give birth to Pansy's youngest sibling, Peony, that fall.
In sixth year, Hogwarts was no longer the refuge it had been. With Draco busy trying to kill himself in the service of Voldemort, Pansy was left to her own devices. Her status as Queen Bee remained, but in her eyes, it faltered. The perfect little world she had created was slowly shattering, and by seventh year what she knew once was gone. And it was all the fault of that stupid war. If it weren't for Potter's ridiculous war, she would have had the life she wanted. She would have married Draco, she would have had perfect children, and her father and brothers wouldn't be at risk. So when the call came to give Harry up, she loudly tried to do so in the final battle, before she was shuffled out of the school with the younger children to be kept "safe" from the fighting.
She thought that would be the final insult, but when all was said and done, the Parkinsons were found guilty of having colluded with Voldemort and were expected to pay reparations. In an attempt to save his wife and daughters from his indignity, Roger Parkinson packed them up and sent them across the pond to the United States in the fall of 1998.
Being in the states was an eye-opener for Pansy. For the first time, she wasn't rich, nor spoiled, although they did settle in New York City and she was surrounded by the styles she loved. Her mother insisted that Pansy involve herself in society, and Pansy found herself walking a thin line between the wizarding world and the muggle world. She found her balance, and for a time was truly happy in this strange place where she was exotic and treasured once more.
Until it fell apart. Again. One moment her life seemed perfect, the next her mother was dying of some strange disease neither muggle doctors nor wizarding healers could seem to figure out. And abruptly in the summer of 2000, Pansy found herself alone in NYC with a four year old girl looking to her for care. She couldn't go home, her father had made that quite plain. And yet, she couldn't remain here, either. She had no funds, no job, and no skills.
Pansy picked up and moved across the river to New Jersey, finding a small place to live and claiming that Peony was her daughter as she placed the young girl into kindergarten. After some fighting with herself over the idea, she found a job as a waitress in a small muggle restaurant. She hated it. She really, very truly, hated the job. She had to be nice to people who thought she was something less than them (especially when they saw how young she was, with a little girl they assumed was hers). She had to be on her feet all day and she couldn't even wear anything nice. And she was exhausted, all the time, and spent so much of her money on Peony's care that she had little left for herself. She took to taking on double shifts if she could, and napping in the back.
The son of the owner of the restaurant found her there, curled up in the closet, catching an hour's sleep between shifts. He seemed amused by how annoyed she was to be interrupted, and amused when she snarked at him and was a complete bitch. In fact, everything about her seemed to amuse him, which irritated her completely. But he was nice. And kind to Peony. And eventually, Robert Lewis convinced her to go out to dinner with him. It was a strange courtship, with Peony right smack in the middle of it (because Robert was her boyfriend, Peony insisted), and a slow courtship. Because oh bloody hell, Robert Lewis was a muggle and Pansy couldn't possibly be falling in love with him. Could she?
When he proposed on Halloween in 2002, Pansy surprised herself by accepting. And in March 2003, Pansy Parkinson married a muggle, and let her sister be officially adopted by this man who had no idea what she was, or that Peony was actually her sister and not her daughter. She shouldn't have lied, she knew, but what else could she do?
In the meantime, Pansy continued to work in the restaurant. She moved from waitress to hostess, which she decided was a much improved position to hold. And eventually, she began attending the local culinary classes, with the intent to become a pastry chef. She'd learned to cook in order to feed herself and Peony and she actually enjoyed it.
Strangely, Pansy had found peace in the states, in New Jersey, married to this Muggle man. She wanted to grow old here, to bear his children, and to forget about her life.
But when Geoffrey contacted her to tell her that their father was gravely ill, she couldn't deny the need for family. And without explaining a word of what her own reality was, she packed herself, Peony, and Robert on to a plane to travel to London in April 2007.
It was entirely the wrong time to return to Britain. And everything about it went wrong. From bloody Potter getting his arse assassinated, to the charm bombs, to her father dying… it all went to hell. And just when Pansy wanted desperately to return home, she was instead trapped in Britain with a husband who no longer truly knew who she was, and a sister who just didn't understand and still called her mum.
Robert and Pansy fought brutally over the lies she had told. As the world fell apart around them, when she needed him most, she couldn't control her own tongue and she lashed out at the only one left that she loved. As they tried to find something, anyplace safe in Britain, tempers rose daily, until one night Pansy left their campsite in a fit of pique, spending the night by herself, arms wrapped around her legs, crying in the darkness.
She returned to their camp to find Peony sleeping, the horses grazing, and Robert inexplicably dead. No blood, no sign of struggle, no idea what had killed him. Just… dead. And Pansy simply sat down and started crying all over again, because the last thing she had said to him was that she wished she'd never met him. And he'd said the same to her.
She buried him as best she could, then packed up the horses and Peony and their things and kept on moving. She has been on the road for a year, gathering spices and clothing where she can, keeping things as neat and respectable as she might. They might be poor, they might be homeless, but Pansy will be damned before she well them be anything less than respectable. She has cared carefully for the two remaining horses (Thunder and Lightning — Storm died en route) that they took from the Parkinson estates, but both horses have little resemblance to the beasts they once were thanks to Pansy's unabashed use of magic to protect herself and Peony.
When she heard of the gathering and potential safety in York, Pansy headed there. She hopes to find a place for herself cooking, and to make a home again for Peony.
